This blog started out for me to vent my frustrations on my infertility. I am a mom of four 3 girls ages 19,14, and 4 and one little man born on Valentine’s Day 2018. Our life is crazy but fun. I am exhausted but grateful.
I went to the RE this morning fearing bad news. I went in had my blood drawn and ultrasound which showed a lining of 11 and follicle on left 13 and follicle on right 25!!! Holy crap!!! I left the RE with a big smile on my face and nervousness in my belly. I want this to work I need this to work. I drove my husband car their and popped in a random cd and it had our wedding song on it, Shania Twain and Lionel Richie Endless Love this is so about what me and my husband are. Together as young teenagers separated for a decade and reunited to make a family of our own.
If anyone deserves this it;s my husband who beside my father is the greatest man I have ever known. He is the best dad to my children and has the biggest heart and is full of love. His love for me is endless. He wants this so bad sometimes I think more than me!!! He will be a great dad and to know the joy he will get to raise a child of his own from birth its makes my heart flutter.
Then circa 1996
Now
Now my RE office just called and they have scheduled me for an IUI???? Excuse me pardon me come again. Was totally taken aback by this and my husband has work on Saturday so I have to drive back up to the RE office and pick up solution to keep his men alive!!!! That sucks and i have to get up an hour earlier then he has to be up to get the solution to room temperature!!!! I hate that I have to go alone but there is no other choice. Now I feel like this HAS to work!! Putting all my dreams,hopes,egg,follicles in this basket!!!!
So it was sunny here for the first time!!! The time of day it got sunny was around 3 in the afternoon this reminds me of my dad who would of raced out of work to get a couple rounds of golf in on the first sunny day. I miss my dad I always miss him this time of year. Its been 13 years this May that he has passed and it still hurts as it was yesterday!! My dad was awesome!!!
I am getting nervous about my appt with my RE tomorrow worried that the femara didn't work. Worried that we will have to try injectables just plain old worried. Sunny days bring new things new life and I am ready for that. I want to relish in memories of my Dad and think of the new things to come. Goid things they have to be on their way right?
Ok so went to new RE liked him a lot and so did my hubby. My hubby took off work and came with me today. So I have had a gut feeling that something besides my translocation is going on and guess what so did my RE!!! He feels with my spotting and light periods clomid is not doing the job correctly so he prescribed femara and ovidrel. So everything went well on that end now onto insurance. So I was getting ready to pay my nice little copay if 35 when she said that will be 335.00 for today I nearly fell on the floor. My insurance is making me pay deductible to the tune of 500.00 and then they cover 80% and We are responsible for 20% on top of copay and that this visit is the most expensive!!! So I have rounded out that like 90 every time I need ultrasound and so on. If I just need blood I will get it done at my hospital because its free. I am glad we can do this but by no means are we rich I have major brace work to pay for this month and braces will be paid off by august!!! The patio furniture I wanted is no go and the top kitchen cabinets might take a little longer to get!! but I will take a baby over patio furniture!!!
Started with dry scratchy throat on monday and turned into body aches and fever tuesday!! Called out of work wed and today. Started taking HPT on dollar tree on tuesday. See there is a slight problem FF had my ovulation day on min and I over rode it and put it to Sunday so I am either 10/11 dpo and dollar tree gave me damn evap lines!!! So my temp dipped yesterday and shot back up today and on top if that spotting!!! Hello wtf!! I want to scream I do not feel pregnant at all everytime I have been my boobs hurt my af according to my luteal phase of 14 days is due on monday. We fid everything right took clomid bd all the right days!!! Why am I spotting on 11dpo again like last month?? Or I am 10 dpo and its implantation bleeding but who am I kidding I am not that lucky!!! Oh and I still feel like crap!!! feeling down and out:(
So it's Sunday and I am at work with a Benadryl hangover:( So friday night I got a Positive OPK!!! We bd thurs, fri, sat phew!!!! But something happened this morning my temp went up yesterday but down this morning?!! WTF!!! So we will have to see what the next days bring!!! Ughh hate this!!!
Well this past weekend was fun filled and labor intensive!!! On Friday night me and hubby chaperoned Valentine's dance!! Was a lot of fun good amount of kids turned out!!! Then Saturday had to take my girls down to the Basilica of St Peter and Paul so they get make all of their sacraments on Easter Vigil mass. Hubby couldn't make it he had to work. So that was a long day and mass!! Came hone ordered some pizza and vegged out knowing tomorrow was going to be busy. On sunday we laid a subfloor down in the kitchen and my body is still hurting!!! Then I am usually off on Mondays and had to work and all I wanted was to lay in bed sll day. So here I am on my day off running errands for the PTA .
On TTC waiting to ovulate will probably start taking opk tomorrow I don't expect to ovulate until end of the week.
That is what happened to me last night I could not fall asleep. Nothing particular was keeping me from dreamy land but as the time ticked by so did my thoughts they were actually all good thooughts. Baby names actually were popping in my head!!! I had a great day yesterday I voluntered at my girls school and afterwards went to thrift store and picked up some great buys for my best friend who is due in April some cute little boy outifts and even ran them over to her house to show her right afterwards. I then came home counted box tops and relaxed with my girls playing walking dead on ps3 awesome game I might say!!!!
Now onto my cycle well just as I predicted this cycle was a bust. I started spotting on saturday night at 11dpo!!! That is so not like me I always spot the day before af then she comes. I have been spotting on and off since then and tomorrow will probably full flow. I did test and it was a big fat negative but I actually was glad it was stark white!! No guessing and hoping and clutching at straws no bargaiing with God that I will stop curisng and go to church more. It was refreshing to get the BFN, I know crazy. Onto the next cyle as my other ttcer's would say forge ahead. I will do clomid again this month and try try try. That's all we can do right? Try
Here are the clothes I got for my bestie!!
