Happy halloween

This year no trick or treating for me my oldest is too old and my other daughter is with her father. It's kind of weird, sad and nice all in one. No running home trying to do make-up, hair, and last minute things like remembering I didn't get trick or treat bags. I will have one last year next year to trick or treat, Lily will only be 10 so we will go out,  but I wonder today on this gloomy Halloween is this it? I am done Halloween, will I ever dress up a baby for Halloween and try to teach it to say trick or treat again? Will my husband ever get to experience a first Halloween with a  baby? It leaves me thinking and for a minute I am down and out, then I think I need to be positive and yes we will be trick or treating with a little one  of our own maybe not next Halloween but it will happen soon enough for us. Have to be positive well that's what Joel Osteen says!!!! Well everyone have  a safe and happy Halloween everyone!!!!

The calm before the storm

Sitting here waiting for hurricane Sandy and this is what keeps popping in my head

haha I keep wanting to belt out, "Your the one that I love"!!! Hopefully we will not get hit too bad and praying we do not lose power. This is going to be short post hubby next to me sleeping!!!!shhh!!!!! Had a thought today and I will show you in a pic what my thought was

This is what it takes to get pregnant in your 30's and this is what it takes in tour 20's

Go figure!!!???? Well anyways on cd 5 taking clomid, did acupuncture on sat probably won'tmake it there until next sat because of the storm. My Uncle who is my dad's brother(my dad passed away 12 years ago) he takes care of my Nan who is 90 and he has a bad heart and is back in the hospital so I slept over her house last night felt horrible all day, ran a low grade fever went to bed early and feeling fine today weird!!! But the damn fever messed with my bbt charting!!! That's it for now good night, good luck and baby dust!!!!



really??? You got to be kidding me....

That's how I felt when I got this, this   morning....

So I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprise. Surprised meaning like I did clomid,acupuncture, thought positive. I have zero symptoms nada zilch none. On the subject of symptoms are these women crazy who have symptoms before 7dpo like I felt my breast full and twinges at 1,2,3 etc dpo. Like really your egg hasn't even been fertilized. Like seriously get a grip. Wow that felt better. So onto the next cycle I stopped taking the progesterone and now waiting for af she is due on Tues,so hopefully she is on time.

Off the ttc my oldest daughter turned 14 where has the time gone? Wish she was a baby well not really  because she is just as difficult as a teenager as a baby. I have come far from that place single mom all alone. My life is great this past weekend we made pizza and watched movies my little one was sick, so we just relaxed. This weekend I am working what fun and next weekend we are going on our annual pumpkin patch.I am so excited because our pumpkin patch has apple picking and winery!!!! Oh yeah take that BFN!!!! So till next time GL and baby dust!!!!

yummy pizza with my hubby and daughter!!!

OOOOO Yeah

I ovulated well according to my opk's and Fertility friend I did. We had good bding times and I am hopeful really really hopeful. I went to acupuncture last night and I kept reciting positive affirmations in my head. I am trying to be positive about my cycles from now on. I know we can do this and I know we'll hold a baby in our arms in 9 months. So I started taking my progesterone last night 200mg vaginally. I decided to take it after looking back on my last mc. I always spotted from the day I found out I was pg and when I got my level checked it was only 3.2. I was measuring behind but they said my hcg levels were good and my sac looked great so I was thinking maybe I did produce a normal egg and it was my progesterone so they gave me a script that I filled for the mc so I decided to take it. So I researched the hell out of it online and also decided to take it vaginally instead of orally. What I read was that if you take it orally your liver absosrbs most of it and the side effects are horrible. If you take it vaginally you absorb it better and less side effects. So we'll see. I am only 4dpo and I am trying no to test until Sat the 20th but probably will cave and test on Friday. So have a great weekend and enjoy the fall weather and festivities!!!!

My ttc buys.....

Just wanted to give a cycle update and let you know that I started the pregnitude. It's a powder you put into your water once in the morning and once at night it is tasteless. I am hoping it helps with egg quality, I do not think it will help this cycle but maybe the next two it will. I also have been temping and I am all knew to that so I will like to see how my next cycle goes with temping so I have something to compare too. I also got my opk's and pg tests ion the mail super excited so guess what I did....yep peed on one and this is what I got...

So maybe I will ovulate over the weekend I wasn't expecting to ovulate until cd 17,18 and that was taken on cd 10 so maybe I will ovulate on like cd 14 or 15 who knows?

here is the link

www.pregnitude.com/

It cost 34.99 for a month supply.

Here are my batch of wonfo's so excited. I love that I have these now because it makes me feel like we are really really ttc. I didn't want to buy them before because ti me it felt like I am really having a hard time ttc and I need these, I don't know if anyone else feels that way. I also like that i don't have to go to the dollar store and look like a cray lady buying pg test every other day. So here goes nothing waiting to ovulate.
Till next time GL and baby dust to all!!!!

Exactly where I need to be...

So I went and got acupuncture this morning and it was great. She talked to me in great depth about nutrition and my cycle and I went on and told her about my balanced translocation. So she stuck me with all the needles and at first I was very nervous but it was very calming even for me who is constantly running whether physically or mentally. As I was sitting there I was repeating mantras or daily affirmations that I have read on infertility. Then something hit me I said to myself I am exactly where I need to be. I kept repeating it to myself and it was very comforting. I am exactly where I need to be in my life with a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls who are growing into young women. I am exactly where I need to be in my cycle, I am excited about ovulating and learning more about my body. I kept repeating this affirmation

My body is a fertile place worthy of conception.
I am grateful for and love my body and all it does for me.
My life is a blessing.
My womb is strong and fertile.
My eggs are healthy and developing perfectly.
I have the ability to heal myself.
I feel safe, supported and loved through my fertility journey.
My thoughts are peaceful and calm. (Great for stressful situations)
I am already healing my body, everyday it heals more.
I am grateful that I am a woman.
I support and love my husband (partner) through our fertility journey.
My menstrual cycle connects me to all women.
I am working with my body in a loving way to get my menstrual cycle back.
I am worthy of love, life and happiness.
My womb is a healthy place that will nourish my baby.

and this one

I trust my body.

My body is healthy and young.

New balance is coming to my body now.

My reproductive organs work in perfect harmony with my body to allow an easy conception.

Every time my period comes I rejoice in the fact that my body is functioning correctly.

My hormones are perfectly balanced and my menstrual cycles are becoming more and more regular.

My eggs are healthy and happy to be released during my next/current ovulation. (whichever is applicable)

My body knows how to conceive a healthy baby.

The most perfect egg is preparing to be released by my ovary and the most perfect sperm from my loving husband is preparing to fertilize it.

I allow new beginnings in my life.

I am welcoming my baby to come to my womb.

I didn't memorize them but I read them enough over the weekend that I was reciting some lines from both these affirmations while getting acupuncture. It was so peaceful and calming I indulged in every minute of it.

The season is changing and so is my outlook on my infertility. I am exactly where I need to be on this journey wherever it takes me I will have to accept even if I do not like the outcome. I will accept all things God has in place for me and surrender to his life plan for me and my family. If years go by and I don't bring another child in this world yes my heart will be broken but my husband will be there to put the pieces back together. I will try everything to conceive except for going into debt. If it is not meant to be so be it and that will mean a different walk of life for my husband and me. as season changes so do the phases of parenthood. As my girls get older and need me less for everyday needs, I will get to travel more with my husband and enjoy each other. The thought of this would usually make me want to vomit but what keeps popping in my mind is I am exactly where I need to be in my life right now and it feels great. I know there  might be times of despair but I will get through like I have done before with my darling husband by my side. Do I expect to get pregnant this cycle, no not at all do I hope it happens soon yes, do I feel like it ever will no. January keeps popping in my head it did all morning at acupuncture and maybe that is the month I will produce a genetically normal egg our a balanced one like me. Who knows? All I know is that I am exactly where I need to be.....