OOOOO Yeah

I ovulated well according to my opk's and Fertility friend I did. We had good bding times and I am hopeful really really hopeful. I went to acupuncture last night and I kept reciting positive affirmations in my head. I am trying to be positive about my cycles from now on. I know we can do this and I know we'll hold a baby in our arms in 9 months. So I started taking my progesterone last night 200mg vaginally. I decided to take it after looking back on my last mc. I always spotted from the day I found out I was pg and when I got my level checked it was only 3.2. I was measuring behind but they said my hcg levels were good and my sac looked great so I was thinking maybe I did produce a normal egg and it was my progesterone so they gave me a script that I filled for the mc so I decided to take it. So I researched the hell out of it online and also decided to take it vaginally instead of orally. What I read was that if you take it orally your liver absosrbs most of it and the side effects are horrible. If you take it vaginally you absorb it better and less side effects. So we'll see. I am only 4dpo and I am trying no to test until Sat the 20th but probably will cave and test on Friday. So have a great weekend and enjoy the fall weather and festivities!!!!

My ttc buys.....

Just wanted to give a cycle update and let you know that I started the pregnitude. It's a powder you put into your water once in the morning and once at night it is tasteless. I am hoping it helps with egg quality, I do not think it will help this cycle but maybe the next two it will. I also have been temping and I am all knew to that so I will like to see how my next cycle goes with temping so I have something to compare too. I also got my opk's and pg tests ion the mail super excited so guess what I did....yep peed on one and this is what I got...

So maybe I will ovulate over the weekend I wasn't expecting to ovulate until cd 17,18 and that was taken on cd 10 so maybe I will ovulate on like cd 14 or 15 who knows?

here is the link

www.pregnitude.com/

It cost 34.99 for a month supply.

Here are my batch of wonfo's so excited. I love that I have these now because it makes me feel like we are really really ttc. I didn't want to buy them before because ti me it felt like I am really having a hard time ttc and I need these, I don't know if anyone else feels that way. I also like that i don't have to go to the dollar store and look like a cray lady buying pg test every other day. So here goes nothing waiting to ovulate.
Till next time GL and baby dust to all!!!!

Exactly where I need to be...

So I went and got acupuncture this morning and it was great. She talked to me in great depth about nutrition and my cycle and I went on and told her about my balanced translocation. So she stuck me with all the needles and at first I was very nervous but it was very calming even for me who is constantly running whether physically or mentally. As I was sitting there I was repeating mantras or daily affirmations that I have read on infertility. Then something hit me I said to myself I am exactly where I need to be. I kept repeating it to myself and it was very comforting. I am exactly where I need to be in my life with a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls who are growing into young women. I am exactly where I need to be in my cycle, I am excited about ovulating and learning more about my body. I kept repeating this affirmation

My body is a fertile place worthy of conception.
I am grateful for and love my body and all it does for me.
My life is a blessing.
My womb is strong and fertile.
My eggs are healthy and developing perfectly.
I have the ability to heal myself.
I feel safe, supported and loved through my fertility journey.
My thoughts are peaceful and calm. (Great for stressful situations)
I am already healing my body, everyday it heals more.
I am grateful that I am a woman.
I support and love my husband (partner) through our fertility journey.
My menstrual cycle connects me to all women.
I am working with my body in a loving way to get my menstrual cycle back.
I am worthy of love, life and happiness.
My womb is a healthy place that will nourish my baby.

and this one

I trust my body.

My body is healthy and young.

New balance is coming to my body now.

My reproductive organs work in perfect harmony with my body to allow an easy conception.

Every time my period comes I rejoice in the fact that my body is functioning correctly.

My hormones are perfectly balanced and my menstrual cycles are becoming more and more regular.

My eggs are healthy and happy to be released during my next/current ovulation. (whichever is applicable)

My body knows how to conceive a healthy baby.

The most perfect egg is preparing to be released by my ovary and the most perfect sperm from my loving husband is preparing to fertilize it.

I allow new beginnings in my life.

I am welcoming my baby to come to my womb.

I didn't memorize them but I read them enough over the weekend that I was reciting some lines from both these affirmations while getting acupuncture. It was so peaceful and calming I indulged in every minute of it.

The season is changing and so is my outlook on my infertility. I am exactly where I need to be on this journey wherever it takes me I will have to accept even if I do not like the outcome. I will accept all things God has in place for me and surrender to his life plan for me and my family. If years go by and I don't bring another child in this world yes my heart will be broken but my husband will be there to put the pieces back together. I will try everything to conceive except for going into debt. If it is not meant to be so be it and that will mean a different walk of life for my husband and me. as season changes so do the phases of parenthood. As my girls get older and need me less for everyday needs, I will get to travel more with my husband and enjoy each other. The thought of this would usually make me want to vomit but what keeps popping in my mind is I am exactly where I need to be in my life right now and it feels great. I know there  might be times of despair but I will get through like I have done before with my darling husband by my side. Do I expect to get pregnant this cycle, no not at all do I hope it happens soon yes, do I feel like it ever will no. January keeps popping in my head it did all morning at acupuncture and maybe that is the month I will produce a genetically normal egg our a balanced one like me. Who knows? All I know is that I am exactly where I need to be.....

Jealous anyone......

The definition of jealous is

jeal·ous/ˈjeləs/

Adjective:

Feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages. Feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship.

This is what I am feeling. I had to endure another girl who is pg at work and wasn't trying just got married and blah blah blah. I am happy for her but at the sametime equally jelaous. I can not be fake and say I am so happy and not jealous at all I would be lying to myself. I am jealous plain, pure and simple. Downright JEALOUS. I forgot to mention my best friend who I work with is pg also and I would have been due two weeks before her. So I get to see her go through something I should of been going through at the same time, what joy for me. Did I forget to mention she wasn't trying also? WTF. I have done everything gotten married, have a house, in a great place in my life. It just isn't fair. I hate hearing it will happen when it will. Well when, I feel like I am waiting in line for my number to be called and I do not have the patience. God left out that attribute out when creating me. I want this so bad I could boil over. I hate that  at work I have to hear woman  say I didn't want this pg, have 3 kids and one on the way and be like 21. UGHHHH!!!!  When will my number be called?

Onto other news I start  my first round of 50mg clomid tomorrow yay for moving through the cycle!!!!
Well till next time GL and baby dust to all and to all a good night!!!!
 

Cycle is ......

Finally here!!!! After I pick my uterus up off the floor, thank you!!! She came swiftlyy and fierce!!! I am excited go get onto the next cycle and I hope I can keep this happy momentum going in this journey. So I will start clomid on Thursday. I started charting and taking temps and I will use opk's this month and we will just relax and see. I am excited about fall and drink cider, wine and some good woodchuck!!!

So other than that my oldest daughter had a broken heart this weekend and my DH went to walgreens and got her fav chocolate covered cherries and was her shoulder to cry in how sweet. He is the best. Weekend was great DH worked all day which was a bummer and the sunday was the usual sunday dinner at my Nan's house who is 90 and is full of life!!! Love her anyways I have a busy week ahead back to school night etc etc!!! Working this weekend which sucks too. Till next time GL and baby dust


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Have you seen her?

Have you seen the witch? If so please send her my way!!!! She is probably so lost her head is spinning. I hate waiting for af because I don't ever have AF symptoms, no cramping nothing I usually spot the day before or just wake up full blown but nada,nothing,zilch. Ughhhh. Well anyway I no there is no way I am pg since our BD has let well let me just put it this way no up too par!!! since returning from honeymoon to enormous TV 55" courtesy of my Uncle(who is my dad's
brother and since my dad passed away 12 years ago is like my dad now) my DH has been kidnapped by the TV while watching football or playing video games with the girls. I end up going to bed before him and asleep by the time he comes to bed. His work also has him extremely stressed out no good. I just want this next cycle to start already it's like I am at the start line and waiting for the signal to go so frustrating:((((

So i will when the witch has foun her way!!!!

It's like riding a bike right??

So I made the previous post almost a year ago, my how things have changed!!! I recently got married and suffered through a recent mc in august blah. Well what can I say I started a vlog on youtube I know crazy right but I felt like I had to, I had to be the voice for the couples who have what I have and forgo IVF and try other options. I could not find one person who had a balanced translocation and wasn't doing IVF. I give it to the couples that are doing IVF, the emotional and financial toll it must take but right now in this moment I am where I need to be trying what I am trying and above all having faith. Faith that God brought me and Lenny back together after all these years that we can add/start a family of our own. ( I feel a George Michael song coming on  right here)

  So we are back on the TTC bike. We are pedaling slow right now and coasting. I am awaiting AF to show after my mc on August 17 so hopefully this weekend she arrives. I have always gone back to my 30 day cycle right after my mc but this time watch I won't oh well. I have switched OB/GYN and wish I would of done it sooner, I am in love with my DR and the practice is great, you can access your test results online and he said if I think I am pregnant or just get a BFP come in right away and be seen and have my levels drawn. Thank you Jesus(my Melissa Gorga voice here thanks RHONJ). Also he gave me clomid can a get a whoot whoot my other OB/GYN would not. Love him. So are plan is to try the clomid, low amolyse diet and acupuncture this cycle, temp, and opks!!! Pheww that's alot but hey my eggies aren't getting any younger!!! I also stopped see the RE didn't like the office only saw the DR one time the nurses were rude, I felt like since I am not doing IVF they didn't care about me!!! Plan to see a different RE dr who casme highly recommended by many women at my work after January if need so(hopefully will not need too)So if anyone see that pesky witch send her my way. until next time sticky dust to all and to all a good night!!!!