Limbo.....

This is where I am in limbo. I put myself here and I actually kinda like it. It feels comforting like how I feel when I rest my head in that nook of  my husband' s chest. I am late for af. How many days late now  that' s a great question. According to fertility friend I am due for af tomorrow because it pushed back my cycle due to chemical last month. So if I go off of my regular cycles I was due for af Fri or sat. I started spotting on Thursday and thought hey I am going to get af tomorrow and the same thing happened the next day just  spotting and nada since then. Then all of a sudden my boobs started hurting and my boobs only hurt when I am pregnant. Oh and did I forget to mention that I do not know when I ovulated. I never got a positive opk and stopped taking them on cd 18. So you see my dilemma. Thursday and Friday could of been implantation spotting. I did POAS on Friday bfn.
 Confession I was secretly hoping I was pregnant after my boobs stared hurting it has only been a few days of them hurting but I was hoping. Then my  mind started being really mean and I then kept thinking this is exactly what happened in August actually same dates too!! Took a week of being late and then mc 10 days later. So I was still trying to be positive last night a smell in my  house got me nauseous and my boobs felt so sore. Then today I woke up in middle of the night and they didn't hurt that bad and didn't hurt that bad this morning. They do not hurt now either maybe my hormones leveled off  for the day?? I hope my boobs hurt tomorrow and if they don't I know af is on her way. I am not testing till maybe Fri and I am taking a digital test so I don't interpret the lines as not dark enough and so on.
Why does this keep happening I mean I know why it's just so unfair. This will be the 7th time. At which number will it be my take home baby??? When will it be our turn???